Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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