How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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