is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
