I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
