After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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