So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
