His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
