i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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