Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
