Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
