ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
