his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
