By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
