Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
