I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
