the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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