just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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