I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
