My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
