im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
