God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Two words: blizzard sex
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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