so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
