this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
