Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
