her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
