At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
