White coat. Heels.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
