Dual....:-)
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
