Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
