cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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