hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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