Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
