i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sorry about my life...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
