He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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