I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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