He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
