i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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