Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
