you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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