I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
