thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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