I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
