It's like God shit irony all over that family
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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