He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just invented taco cereal.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
