You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
