the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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