so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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