I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
