youre lurking in front of me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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