So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
