apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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