Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
