Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
