i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
