Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
